Tarot for people who don't want their fortune told

Using tarot as self reflection, not fortune telling, is how a lot of people actually use a deck. Nobody has to tell you your future. You pull a card, look at the picture and notice what comes up.

Think of it as a stack of 78 odd little conversation starters, and you're the one being asked. Tarot began as a card game in 15th-century Italy. Reading the cards for meaning came along centuries later, so there's plenty of room for your own way in.

Can you buy your own deck?

Yes. Buy your own deck, happily, with no guilt at all.

You may have heard your first deck has to be a gift. Someone probably told you that with love, and it's a sweet tradition if it was passed down to you. It's also a superstition, and nobody really agrees on where it came from. Plenty of people who read cards every week bought their first deck themselves.

If the idea still nags at you, ask a friend to buy it. Or trade one at a tarot deck exchange night. Check what's on. Otherwise, you have our full permission.

Tarot or oracle?

They look alike and work differently. Here's the short version.

Your first deck: what to look for

• Pictures on every card. Many beginners like decks that follow the Rider-Waite-Smith style from 1909, with a full scene on all 78 cards. Scenes give you more to talk about.
• A size that fits your hands. You'll be shuffling these. Smaller decks are fine if that's more comfortable.
• Art you'd hang on a wall. That's the real test. Skip anything that makes you feel like you're studying.

Tarot as self reflection, not fortune telling

The trick is the question you ask. "Will I get the job?" hands your thinking to the cards. "What am I not admitting about this job?" keeps it with you.

A good first spread is three cards, laid left to right:

• One: What am I noticing lately?
• Two: What am I stepping around?
• Three: What's one small thing I could try?

Before you touch the booklet, say what you see. Who's in the picture? What are they doing? What does it remind you of? Your first answer is the useful part, even if it has nothing to do with what any book says.

Don't have a deck yet? Try the same thing with these.

Your first week with a new deck

• Day one. Look at every card, no booklet. Set aside the five you like and the five you don't.
• Days two to six. Pull one card each morning and write one line about it.
• Day seven. Read your lines back. That's your first reading, and you did it yourself.

Shuffle however you like, and ignore anyone who says a card came out wrong. If you'd like to see how a reader works, a one-on-one with J'aime needs no experience and welcomes skeptics. New to all of this? Your first month starts smaller still.